What Tekken would be like if it was a British Soap
by EeveeHearts
Summary: I think this is what Tekken would be like, if it was a soap... Please read and review, it's my first fanfic : if you dont understand some of the words, just ask. Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken, don't sue.
1. Chapter 1

_(PLAY SOME CHEESEY SOAP INTRO MUSIC)_

_(Hwoarang enters the Mishima Arms pub, currently been run by Anna and Nina. Anna is flirting with Lee at the bar, as Nina glares angrily)._

Nina: Oi, you! Yer not old enough to be in 'ere. Get outta ma pub! _(Takes a swipe at Hwoarang with a cloth)._

Hwoarang: Whoa, calm it man! I just wanted to come in here for a quiet drink, that's all!

Nina: Quiet drink? My arse! That Jin Kazama will be in 'ere, and you two will scrapping again!

Hwoarang: Fuck that. _(Lights a cigarette)._ I'm a hard bastard, me. That Jin hasn't got a chance.

Nina: Oi! Dontcha know it's illegal to smoke in a public place? _(Points fire extinguisher at Hwoarang)_

Hwoarang_: (Stubbing out cigarette). _All right, all right, bloody Nora. Your such a stuck up bitch, no wonder yer husband left ya!

_(Steve, who is sat at the bar, turns to face Hwoarang. He stands up and confronts him)._

Steve: Oi, mate, we'll be having less of that.

Hwoarang: _(laughing) _What you gonna do? Kick me?

Steve: _(Angrily). _No guv'nor. One better than that. Kuma!

_(Kuma comes rushing out from the back room and charges at Hwoarang, knocking him off his feet. Hwoarang slowly sits up, cringing and rubbing his back)._

Hwoarang: All right, bloody heel, bunch of nut jobs the lot of ya! (Leaves)

_(Elsewhere, Asuka, Christie, Julia and Xiayou are heading to a nightclub, dressed in barely anything. Hwoarang see's them and strides up to them)._

Hwoarang: All right ladies? Hey Xiayou is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?

Xiayou: _(giggling) _Oh, piss off!

Christie: _(tapping Xiayou on the shoulder and pointing somewhere behind Hwoarang.) _Look, it's Jin! Doesn't he look hot!?

Xiayou & Julia: _(excitedly) _Ooooh, yes! Hey, Jin! JIN!

(Xiayou rushes over to Jin, waving madly. Jin nods at Xiayou. As they chat, Xiayou is seen to be pulling down her top slightly, and fiddling with her skirt, flirting madly)

Xiayou: … So then I said to grandpa, "Don't worry, I'm sure if you keep using the cream, the rash will go away!"

_(Jin looks horrified)_

Asuka: Xiayou! _(rushes over, and pulls her away)_

Xiayou: I'll see you inside Jin Jin! _(waves)_

Julia: Um… Xiayou? Don't you think you should… _(waves hand back and forth) _Calm down a bit?

Xiayou: _(smiles)_

Julia: You know, in case he get's scared off?

Xiayou: _(still smiling)_

Julia: You do seem a tad hyper… _(pause)_

_(5 minutes later)_

Xiayou: _(still smiling)_

Julia: (fed up) Never mind, come on girls lets go in!

Asuka: Lets go pull some totty!

Christie: I'll drink to that! _(laughs and head towards the door. The other girls follow, forgetting about Hwoarang. He stands with his mouth open. He snaps out of it and head towards the night club)._

Bouncer 1: Scuse me mate, you can't come in dressed like that!

Bouncer 2: Yer, it's no some flipping gay bar! _(they both laugh)_

Hwoarang: Oh fuck you! Let me in NOW or I'll… I know origami!

_(both bouncers laugh)_

Bouncer 2: Sure you do mate. Now hurry along, it's probably past your bedtime.

Hwoarang: You bastard! That's it! Don't say I didn't warn you! _(Charges towards the bouncers, ready for a fight.)_

_(30 seconds later)_

Bouncer 1: _(throwing a heavily beaten Hwoarang into the streets) _And stay out!

_(Hwoarang gets to his feet)_

Hwoarang: Like I wanted to go to that shitty place anyway! _(Turns round and storms off)_

_(Hwoarang marches to the other side of the street and site on a park bench. Sighing, he lights up a cigarette and takes a drag. Suddenly, he feels a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he see's Baek)._

Hwoarang: Baek! What are you doing here?

Baek: I know what you're like, Hwoarang. Always up to no good. You need to sort yer life out before yer arrested again! Shop lifting? Hiring escorts! Yes I know all about that!

Hwoarang: _(gasps) _Yer stalking me!?

Baek: No, I've got me sources. Put that fag out lad, smoking stunts yer growth. And stop picking yer nose, or yer head will cave in.

Hwoarang: I don't need no help. I'm 'appy as I am!

Baek: _(raises eyebrow) _Yeah right. Stand up boy. Right, first things first. Stop smoking and as tempting as it is, don't go for all those prozzies.

Hwoarang: _(wide eyed) _Where am I supposed to get me action from then!?

Baek: Ever considered a girlfriend?

_(Hwoarang looks down at his feet, shuffling them, obviously starting to feel shy)_

Hwoarang: Well, there's this one girl I like…

Baek: And she is?

Hwoarang: _(blushing slightly, trying to hide his face) _Askshyou…

Baek: What? You like me!? _(budges away slightly)_

Hwoarang: No! Ewww, no yer an old man! No… its Asuka… _(hangs head)_

Baek: Why dintcha just say boy! _(claps hands) _Right. Get yer arse home, put some decent clothes on, and go to that nightclub, and pull that Asuka!

Hwoarang: No way, blud. I'll just let the foxy lady come to me.

_(Baek tuts and rolls his eyes. Grabbing Hwoarang by the collar, he drags him home.)_

Baek: Right. Go put some decent clobber on, you wont get in any nightclub dressed like that!

_(Grumbling, Hwoarang heads upstairs. When he comes back down, he's dressed all dapper, in black pants and a shirt.)_

Baek: Ready to go?

Hwoarang: Wait _(checks pockets) _Money, keys, condoms… Yeah, I'm ready to go!

_(As they head towards the nightclub, the bouncers see him and crack their knuckles)_

Baek: _(approaching the bouncers) _it's ok, he's with me.

Bouncer 1: Oh all right… _(glares at Hwoarang) _Go in.

_(Inside the club, dance music is blaring, and strobe lights are flashing. People are randomly stood around the room, chatting, drinking or dancing. Baek and Hwoarang head towards the bar)._

Baek: Yo barman! I'll have a pint. What do ya want Hwoarang? A Vodka and coke?

_(Hwoarang nods)_

Barman: Coming right up!

_(Baek turns round and scans the room, searching for the girls. When he spots them, he nudges Hwoarang and points)._

Baek: First things first… How you gonna approach Asuka?

Hwoarang: Uhh… Ask her for a shag?

Baek: _(slapping his forehead) _No you fool! Tell her she's looking stunning tonight, and offer her a drink. She'll be putty in your hands. And no cheesy one liners!

Hwoarang: Awh, man, I always get girls with those.

Baek: Bullshit!

Hwoarang: Fine. No one liners.

Baek: Look, Paul's over there. Why don't you go practise on him?

Hwoarang: Fine. _(heads towards Paul)_

Paul: Yo, Hwoarang.

Hwoarang: Umm.. Hey. Your looking stunning tonight. Can I buy you a drink?

_(Paul stares at Hwoarang like he has sprouted another head. Un expectedly, he kicks Hwoarang in the groin. Hwoarang falls to the floor, Baek comes rushing over.)_

Baek: What did you do that for!?

Paul: The tosser was trying to chat me up! I don't bat for the other team!

Baek: He was practising his flirting! _(shakes head)_

Paul: Whatever! I'm going to the other club down the round. There's a no gays policy in there! _(leaves)_

_(Hwoarang gingerly gets to his knees clutching his groin.)_

Hwoarang: Well done, doctor love. Now all the streets gonna think I'm gay!

Baek: Nothing wrong with being gay. Anyway, look there's Asuka! Go for it!

(Hwoarang staggers over to Asuka, and straightens up. They smile at each other.)

Hwoarang: Hey… Um… You look uh… stunning. Can I buy you a drink?

Asuka: _(blushes) _Oh! Um… ok! Thanks!

_(They head towards the bar. Hwoarang grins at Baek.)_

Hwoarang: So, um. Do you come here often?

Asuka: _(Chokes on her drink) _I beg your pardon?

Hwoarang: Oh. Um. Never mind _(stares at her chest) _How are your breasts? I mean… uh how is your drink?

Asuka: Did you just ask about my breasts?

Hwoarang: No! I meant… Why would I ask? I can see they're nice and big!

_(Asuka is offended and throws her drink over him)._

Asuka: You and Jin are breast obsessed perverts! I give up! _(she storms off)_

Baek: Bloody nice one mate. She's got a right face on.

Hwoarang: Oh, lets just go home!

Baek: No. Apologise to her and try again.

Hwoarang: No way! And anyway, Lei's chatting her up now.

_(Lei has walked over to Asuka and started talking to her. She begins to look uncomfortable. It seems he is asking very personal questions.)_

Baek: Your having a giraffe! He's about 30 years older than her!

_(Hwoarang shrugs and turned away, ready to leave, when there is a sudden diversion. Looking back round, he see's Lei is trying to kiss Asuka and touch her breasts. She is trying to wriggle away, but he's got a tight grip on her. Hwoarang charges over and punches Lei, knocking him over)_

Hwoarang: Get the fuck off her!

Lei: What the hell, man, we were just talking!

Hwoarang: Bullshit! _(kicks Lei several times)_

Lei: Ouch! Ow! You dick'ed! Gerrof me!

Hwoarang: Get (kick) the (kick) fuck (kick) outta here _(pulls Lei up and pushes him. The bouncers come over, grab them both and drag them out.)_

Bouncer 2: There'll be no fighting in this club! Your barred! _(throws them in the street. Lei straightens himself up and glares at Hwoarang. Without saying a word, he storms off.)_

_(Asuka enters)_

Asuka: Hwoarang?

Hwoarang: Go back inside. It's cold out here. I doubt you wanna be outside with a pervert anyway

_(he turns away. Asuka moves closer to him and places a hand on his arm.)_

Asuka: Hwoarang, thanks for that

Hwoarang: (mumbles) it was nothing.

Asuka: No, really. _(throws her arms round him)_

(Hwoarang is slightly taken aback, but slowly wraps his arms round her).

Hwoarang: I'm um, really sorry bout earlier. I didn't mean to offend you. I get really nervous round beautiful girls.

_(Asuka giggles and strokes the back of his head.)_

Asuka: I guess I'm just a bit too touchy. _(leans forward and kisses Hwoarang on the lips)_

Hwoarang: whoa, flower!

Asuka:… I thought you liked me? _(drops head)_

Hwoarang: I do I just… _(Lifts Asuka's chin.) _I better shut up talking before you hit me. _(leans forwards and kisses her)_

_(They embrace each other for a few moments, then Asuka pulls away)_

Hwoarang: Well, I wasn't expecting to kiss a beauty like you tonight!

Asuka: (Smiles) I'm kinda hungry… how about you?

Hwoarang: Yeah, me too! _(he laces his fingers through hers and they began walking away)_

Asuka:… To the kebab shop we go! I could murder a one right now!

_EXIT_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken. so don't sue :)**

(Kazuya and Jin enter, arguing)

Kazuya: I'm telling you, Jun, that boy shouldn't marry her! They've been together like.. What? 2 months?

Jun: (smiling) I think it's a wonderful idea! I'm sure Julia would make a great edition to our family!

Kazuya: No son of mine is gonna marry some hippie…

Jun: Native American, dear.

Kazuya: Whatever! They're going too fast with all of this. I'm gonna ring him and tell him to get his skinny little arse down 'ere.

(Kazuya picks up the phone, holding it at arms length, and looking at it).

Kazuya: How do you work this damn thing?

Jun: Press the buttons, dear.

Kazuya: All right, smart arse!

(punches in some random numbers)

Person on the over end: Hey, this is cheesy cheese pizzas, may I take your order?

Kazuya: Fuck! Your not Jin (hangs up)

(Yet again, he enters in a random selection of numbers)

Woman on the other end: Hey baby, I've been waiting for your call all day! You don't know how horny I am!

Kazuya: Fuck you! (hangs up)

(Again, he enters some random numbers)

Old lady on the other end: Hello? George? Is that you? Hello? Speak up deary, I'm going death! HELLO!?

Kazuya: Shut it, old hag! (hangs up. He turns to Jun and holds the phone out). I can't work these bloody things. You do it.

Jun: (takes the phone and dials Jin). Hullo, darling. You wanna pop round for a cuppa?

Jin: Um. Me and Julia need to sort out this wedding.

Jun: That's what we need to talk to you about, sweetie.

Jin (sighing) Fine, I'll be round in about ten minutes.

Jun: Ok, love, see you soon.

(Jun hangs up and turns to Kazuya)

Jun: Now, I don't want you arguing, sure, you don't agree with his idea, but it's his life.

(Kazuya glares at Jun and doesn't say a word)

(10 minutes later, Jin enters. Him and Kazuya glare at each other. Jin takes a seat).

Jun: Now, Jin, dear. Your father and I have been thinking…

Jin: (glaring at Kazuya) Bloody hell, did it hurt?

Kazuya: Oh ha ha, you're a proper little comedian. What your mothers trying to say, is that your taking it too fast with this Julia.

Jin: (standing up) I love her!

Kazuya: You don't know what love is! Your what… 15?

Jin: I'm 22 you stupid man! I don't need your blessing, I'll marry who I bloody want!

Kazuya: I'm trying to do the best for you, boy!

Jin: Bullshit! You love ruining peoples lives! Look at that Leo! Motherless! And Eddies father…!

Kazuya: (cracking his knuckles) shut up about that!

Jun: Kazuya, please! (turns to Jin) All we're saying is, maybe you should wait a while longer?

Jin: It's my life, mum!

Jun: Yeah, but we only-

Jin: Look mum, I'm doing what I wanna do, and no ones going to stop me. You're welcome to the wedding, but if you don't accept us then don't bother coming!

(Jin turns round and walks off. Before he reaches the door, he turns round to face his mother and father)

Jin: By the way, mum. Keep dad away from the scotch if you are going to turn up. You know what he's like round other girls when he's had a few.

(Jin exits)

Jun: (turning to Kazuya) No arguments, you said! I see you can't keep a promise! Bloody well done! (leaves the room)

Kazuya: (shouting after her) Jun! Bloody Nora, the boys an idiot! Jun? JUN!? (runs offstage)

(Elsewhere, King and Marduk are in The Mishima Arms pub having an arm wrestle. King wins)

King: Right! You have to get the next round in now!

Marduk: (grudgingly) What do you want?

King: I'll 'ave half a pint, thanks!

(Marduk stands up and walks over to the bar. Nina is cleaning a glass with a cloth).

Nina: (placing glass down) What ya having?

Marduk: Give us two pints

Nina: 'ere ya go. That'll be a fiver.

Marduk: A bloody fiver? For two measly pints! What a rip off! (Hands the cash over)

Nina: Well ya can like it or lump it!

(Grumbling, Marduk takes his seat. On the other side of the pub, Kunnimitsu and Yoshimitsu are having a 'quiet' drink)

Yoshimitsu: (Trying to open his can of cola) Damn can! I hate these bloody cans! Prefer bottles! (using his sword, he pierces the can. It spurts out everywhere, he quickly drinks form it).

Kunnimitsu: Yoshi! I've told you to stop opening drinks like that! You're making a show of yourself! (hides face in shame)

Yoshimitsu: (appearing to be drunk) you jussht don't knoww Wahh yer on Aboout

Kunnimitsu: Yoshi, how the hell did you get drunk of a few sips of Cola?

(Elsewhere, Julia is walking up an alley way, expecting to meet someone. A voice comes from the darkness).

Kazuya: So, you came. (steps into the light, arms folded.)

Julia: Why do you want to see me? Why didn't you just come round to our house and talk to me?

Kazuya: (moving closer to Julia) I'm sure your used to meeting me in private…

(Julia hangs her head, not looking at him. Kazuya lifts her chin and kisses her. Julia responds)

Julia: Mhmmm. We can't carry on with this affair. I'm marrying your son.

(Kazuya places his hand on Julia waist and kisses her again)

Kazuya: Then don't get married

(Julia stays silent. Kazuya kisses her again)

Julia: I… I've got to go… See you…

(Julia exits. Kazuya watches her till she goes offstage. With a smirk on his face, he exits)

(From behind a bin, appears Hwoarang. He has heard and seen everything[authors note: I don't know why he was behind a bin. He probably fell asleep there with a nasty grin, he addresses the audience)

Hwoarang: Oh, that dirty little slag… and him! The old gimmer! Oh, I cant wait to tell everyone! They're going to be in so much trouble! (Cackling, he exits)

(the next day, Jin and Julia are in The Mishima Arms pub. Jin tells Nina to ring a bell, so he can have everyone's attention.)

Jin: (clears throat) Ahem… Hello everyone. Me and Julia are getting married in 3 weeks, and I would like to invite you all. We'll be handing invitations out later in the week, and we'd both love it if you all came…

(There is a silence in the bar. Obviously mixed reactions. Suddenly, Wang speaks up.)

Wang: in 3 weeks you say?

Jin: Yes

Wang: Count me in! I love a good wedding!

(The others begin to nod and mumble. Various people agree, and excited babble about the wedding begins. Smiling, Jin sits down.)

Hwoarang: (to his gang) Great. We'll tell everyone at the wedding. Only 3 weeks to wait, you can all manage to keep it a secret, right?

(his gang nods)

Hwoarang: (standing up) Right, well I'm off. I'll see you later.

(fast forward 2 and a half weeks, Jin is getting ready for his stag night, between scenes, we see Julia is getting ready for her hen night.)

Steve: (to Jin) I'm telling ya mate, it's yer last few days of freedom, you better enjoy it

Eddy: Yeah pal, lets all get completely shit faced!

Lee: (raises can of larger into the air) I'll drink to that! My Lickle nephews all grown up! I may shed a tear!

Jin: Oh shut it you soppy twat. (starts spraying on some cologne. The others choke.)

Eddy: You trying to kill us or summfink?

Jin Er… (coughs) Ahem. Sorry. Pass us a can of larger Steve!

(Switching scenes, we see Julia, Xiayou, Christie and Asuka in Julia's bedroom getting ready. Xiayou is sat on the bed reading a magazine, Christie is applying fake tan, and Asuka is deciding what to wear.)

Julia: Hey girls! Does this skirt make my bum look big?

Xiayou: Your bum makes your bum look big, Jules! (giggles)

Julia: No seriously, does it?

Christie: Nah, you look fine. And when you're married to Jin I doubt he's gonna give a toss about what you look like anyways!

Asuka: Oh ha ha…

Xiayou: Hey, Asuka! When Jin and Julia get married, won't Julia be your… Um… (thinks hard)… Cousin in law?

Asuka: … (shrugs)

Julia: Mhmm. You girls ready? And Christie, WHY do you need fake tan? Your tanned enough already!

Christie: (grins) You can never be too tanned! We ready girls?

Asuka: I am.

Julia: I am

Xiayou: Wait! Handbag check! Lip-gloss?

All: check.

Asuka: Mascara? Eyeliner?

All: Check, check

Julia: Breath mints?

All: Check

Christie: Anything else?

All: nah. Sod it!

(the girls stand up. Link arms and leave, singing "Girls just wanna have fun!")

Xiayou: (pointing) Oh look! It's Jin!

Christie: Quick Julia, hide! (they all scramble in front of Julia, blocking her from view. Jin, Eddy, Lee and Steve are all heading towards them singing.)

Jin: I'm getting married in the mooorning! Ding dong the bells are gonna chiiime!

(Eddy, Steve and Lee all fall about laughing. They appear to be drunk. Lee notices the girls.)

Lee: Hey! Where's Julia?

Asuka: She um… couldn't come…

Steve: She couldn't come to her own hen night?

Christie: No, terrible isn't it? We're having one in her honour! Well I think you boys better be off!

Eddy: Good point. Come on lads!

(They exit, singing loudly again)

J,X&A: Phew! It's safe to come out now Julia!

(Giggling, they all head to the club.)

(A typical split screen of a hen night and a stag do should be shown, switching between the girls and boys)

Steve: So lads, who ordered the stripper?

Jin: What? I don't want a stripper!

Steve: We're only joking!

(They all laugh)

(switching to the girls, we see them in masks, devil horns, halos, fluffy scarf's, etc. Julia gets a text on her phone)

Phone: Meet Me outside. Kazuya.

Julia: (looking over at the girls) Hey, I gotta go for some fresh air, I'll be back in a bit! (leaves)

(outside, she looks around. Kazuya is no where to been. Suddenly, someone grabs her and pulls her into an alleyway

Julia: Kazuya! What do you want?

Kazuya: I see your still gonna marry him

Julia: And…?

Kazuya: He isn't right for you Jules. He's selfish and cold hearted. He'll end up using you…"

(Julia folds her arms and looks away from him. Kazuya touches her arm, then pulls her in for a kiss. They passionately embrace for a few moments. She pulls away)

Julia: I've got to go back inside. Bye…"

(Julia heads back inside. Kazuya glances after her, then exits. A few moments pass. Hwoarang slips out from behind a skip, clutching a camcorder. He's filmed the whole thing. With a smirk, he closes the camcorder, put it in his bag and exits.)

Christie: Hey Jules! We got you a drink! Come on we're waiting!

(Julia forces a smile and takes her drink. They all huddle together)

All: Right… 1,2,3... Drink! (They down there drinks)

(Switching scenes, we see the lads making a lot of noise in a pub. Steve spots an attractive woman at the bar, and nudges Lee. The woman is actually Raven in drag, but only Steve has spotted this.)

Steve: Betcha can't pull her (snorts)

Lee: I beg your pudding? Betcha I can sonny boy!

Steve: Alright, Mr Superstud. If you get a snog off her, I'll pay for your drinks for the rest of the night.

Lee: Get your wallet out lad, this won't take long! (Laughs, and walks over to Raven) Hey. (To Raven.) I saw you from over there. You look stunning tonight. May I buy you a drink?

Raven: (in a deep manly voice) All right mate. A pint of Guinness if yer offering.

Lee: What the - Argghh! You're a… a bloke? Are you? What the hell!?

Raven: Still gonna offer me that pint, handsome?

Lee: What the? Who are you? (Lee pulls at Ravens wig) Raven! Oh my god! What the hell! Don't mention this to anyone!

Raven: (laughing) Don't worry mate. Now where's my pint?

(Loud laughter is heard from Eddy, Steve and Jin)

Lee: Oh, piss off you lot

Eddy: You should have seen yer face! Shoulda filmed it!

Lee:… (glares at the lads)

Jin: Ugh. Feel sick. Can we call it a night?

Eddy: Whoa! It's still early!

Jin: it's 2:30

Eddy: Oh. Yeah sure. C'mon lads we'll share a taxi home.

(The lads should be seen piling in a taxi and being dropped off at various places, Lee being the last person, meaning he has to pay for the taxi. Poor Lee! We see the girls calling for a taxi, and driving to Julia's house, they all exit, apart from Lee who gets out the Taxi, when it begins to rain.)

Lee: Mumbling to himself) Those bloody kids…

(it's the wedding day. We see another split screen, where Julia is having her hair and make up done by Christine.)

Christine: Aww, Jules, you look proper stunning!

Xiayou: Yeah, you do! Like a princess!

Julia: (smiles) And you lot all look gorgeous yourself!

Asuka: Ok, we all look stunning! Group hug! (they hug.)

(we switch to the boys. Steve is straightening his flower in his pocket.)

Eddy: Ha. You look gay.

Steve: So do you.

Eddy: You look gayer.

Steve: No, you do.

Eddy: So does your mum.

(Nina walks in.)

Nina: What did you say?

Eddy: Nothing Nina.

Nina: Oh. (returns to her corner)

Lee: Jin! Where are you? We're waiting!

(Jin enters the room in his suit. They all whistle)

Lee: Looking good!

Eddy: Styling!

Steve: Nice one!

Lee: We ready?

All: Aye!

Eddy: Handbag check?

(They all glare at Eddy.)

Eddy: I was joking…

Steve: Come one, the cars here. Come on lads! (they leave)

(At the church, Jin is stood at the alter, with Lee next to him as best man. Wedding music starts being played, as we see Julia head towards Jin, linking arms with Panda, who is giving her away. The people in the pews, stare at her as she passes, whispering how radiant she's looking. Jun, who is at the front with Kazuya, gives a little sniff. When Julia reaches the alter, she smiles at Jin, and takes his hand.)

Vicar: Before we begin, does anybody here have any reason why these two should not be wed?

They look behind them. Everyone is silent. Kazuya twitches.)

Vicar: Then, let's proceed. We're gathered here today, to witness the marriage of Julia Chang, and -

(The church door suddenly bangs open. In strides Hwoarang clutching his camcorder, accompanied by his gang.)

Hwoarang: (loudly) Sorry. Am I late? I'm always fashionably late, me. (smirks)

Julia: Hwoarang!

Jin: Hwoarang?

Kazuya: Hwoarang!?

Hwoarang: Julia. Jin. (nods)

Some random nutter in Hwoarangs gang: Hwoarang!

Another gang member: Bit late Sherlock! (whacks him on the back of the head)

Hwoarang: (shakes his head and turns back to Jin and Julia) Muppet… Anyway, where was I? ah yes. I have a reason why these two shouldn't marry.

Vicar: Do you really? What is it?

Hwoarang: She! (points at Julia) has been having an affair with HIS dad! (points at Kazuya)

(A silence follows this. Jin speaks up)

Jin: Don't be so bloody stupid. Have you been on the magic mushrooms again?

Hwoarang: Don't believe me, huh? (he heads up to the overhead projector, and plug the camcorder into it. The whole church are shown Kazuya and Julia on her hen night, kissing.

A shocked silence follows this. Slowly, Jin turns to Julia)

Jin: (quietly) … I can't believe you.

Julia: Jin please…

(Jin steps back glaring at Julia. He turns to face his father.)

Jin: Why dad, why?

Kazuya: Jin, I… (his voice trails off)

(Jin seems more shocked then angry. He stares at them both, wide eyed.)

Jin: I can't believe this. My dad and my fiancé. My DAD for fucks sake, Julia. Don't you have any god damn morals?

Julia: Jin… please…

Jin: No. I don't care what you have to say (turns to Kazuya) And you… I knew you was bad, but I didn't know you'd sink so low.

Kazuya: Let me explain…

Jin: Shut up

Kazuya: No, really, I…

Jin: I said SHUT UP! (punches Kazuya. He is sent back wards and destroys a few pews.)

Julia: Jin! Please! (tears in her eyes)

(Jin grabs hold of Julia and drags her towards him. He draws back his fist)

Jin: (angrily) You dirty slag… with my own father. You and him can burn in hell together. (Jin pushes her into Kazuya, she falls to the floor, crying)

(Jin glares angrily at them both, before turning round and exiting the church)

(The tension is tense in the church. The silence is broken by Jun, sobbing.

Kazuya: Jun! I… I…

Jun: You… You Bastard! (Slaps Kazuya)

(Asuka runs over and puts and arm round her.)

Asuka: Come on, Auntie Jun, let's get you home. (Christie and Xiayou follow)

(All eyes are on Julia and Kazuya)

Kazuya: (to Hwoarang) This is all your fault…

Hwoarang: Hey, he had the right to know. Come on lads (him and his gang leave)

(Again, all eyes are on Kazuya and Julia)

Kazuya: Well? What are you watching us for? It's obvious the weddings over. Get out!

(Talking, they all congregate outside)

Wang: Oh, I love a good wedding! Brings a tear to my eye!

THE END


End file.
